How Do Our Fundamental Beliefs Come About?
A belief is a feeling of certainty about something. Because we believe something, we gather evidence to corroborate its truth. This strengthens the belief. The rational filtering system of the conscious mind doesn’t start to kick in until we are around the age of six. This means that as impressionable young people, we are wide open to external influences for the first few years of our lives. At this very young age, communication and the actions of others and our experiences of the world, both negative and positive, can pass straight into our subconscious minds. This is why psychologists often say that much of our conditioning regarding our character and self-worth begins when we are very small, when the subconscious is wide open to suggestion.
If the messages we receive about ourselves and the world around us are confidence-boosting and positive, then we start our lives with a good basis for growing up with a healthy amount of self-esteem and trust in ourselves and others.
Normally, however, without the intention of damaging us, our parents, teachers, or relatives unwittingly feed us with their own shortcomings, doubts, and fears (which, in turn, came from their own upbringings). This can be in the form of their actions and comments, or sometimes we just pick up these messages by observing our elders and unconsciously mimicking them, in the way that children do. This is how we learn, by observing and copying those older or bigger than we are.
Certain beliefs or ‘programs’ then become stored in our subconscious minds for later use. These limiting beliefs can become entrenched in our subconscious minds and can affect our decisions, our view of the world, and our place in it. This is often a totally unconscious process and we’re not really aware of why we react to certain situations in the way that we do. But our responses to life’s events are nearly always controlled by what is stored in our subconscious. Any negative conditioning can unknowingly affect us for years, even for life, if we don’t replace and transform it into more helpful and empowering thoughts and beliefs.
The good news is that ‘reprogramming’ ourselves is totally doable. The subconscious mind learns by repetition rather than logic. It is possible to retrain and reprogram your mind by repeatedly planting positive affirmations, beliefs, and visualisations to crowd out the old patterns, which eventually lose their strength and hold. Daily repetition of a new replacement ‘program,’ thought, or belief for a period of time will bring about profound change.
How Does This Reprogramming Help Us in Our Lives?
As our thoughts and beliefs around a situation change, so will our responses and actions. This brings about new behaviours, which in turn produce different results in our lives. This turn of events, resulting in more favourable things happening, compounds and strengthens the new habit, which persuades the subconscious mind to drop the old one for the new!
Transforming Limiting Beliefs.
In my practice as a cognitive behavioural hypnotherapist, I use several powerful techniques to help clients transform beliefs that are holding them back from being happy and fulfilled. Most of the work I do is directly with the subconscious mind but there are some initial techniques that require the rationale of the conscious mind too. If a thought pattern is quite entrenched and/or there is a lot of fear around it, it can be really useful to challenge its truth (of course, it’s nearly always totally false or outdated). Proving that the belief is no longer valid can help to make it shrink in size and become less of a challenge to transform.
One of the worries that can occupy the elderly is an excessive fear of falling, both in people who have already experienced a fall and also often in people who haven’t. Anxiety is common after a fall as the shock can cause a negative expectation in the mind that it may happen again. It’s natural for the person to be apprehensive of walking or a little nervous on their feet for a while after they’ve experienced a fall but if this fear increases and is not dealt with it can lead to inactivity, disability and can actually increase the likelihood of a fall. If this anxiety grows to such a level that the person begins to limit their activity, and as a result their quality of life suffers or they become less independent, then this can become a problem. The time to worry is if there is a lasting behaviour change, resulting in the person failing to live life as they previously did.
If not dealt with, a fear of falling can turn into a phobia or larger irrational fear, which in turn can lead to a vicious cycle. A loss of confidence and depression, followed by lack of mobility or activity can then lead to a lack of strength or flexibility in the body, which in turn causes unsteadiness on the feet when attempting to move about. This coupled with the lack of confidence can make the chances of a further fall more likely and the cycle continues.
If the person falls again due to this cycle and becomes physically hurt and maybe hospitalised or dependent on others for a while, the whole anxiety can be exacerbated. This means that rehabilitation can be more difficult. Sadly, at this point the elderly person often loses their independence and has to go into residential care. If the fear had been dealt with earlier this premature lack of independence may have been avoided or at least delayed, allowing the person to enjoy their life more fully and independently for longer.
What are the practical strategies that can help to lower the anxiety after a fall? If you have an elderly relative or friend who you suspect is suffering from anxiety of falling there are a few ways to help;
According to a recent NHS article, ways to help the person to recover and lead a normal life following a fall, include encouraging the person to stay as active as they can (obviously within their capabilities), while setting themselves small goals to increase confidence slowly. Also continuing to take part in activities and hobbies as soon as possible and mixing with others in local groups and the community, will help to take the mind off any irrational fears. Talking to someone about any fearful feelings (maybe a friend or family member) and not keeping these thoughts to oneself is also a good idea. Keeping fears inside and not voicing them can cause the anxiety to get worse.
Also recommended is positive thinking- often when someone is anxious there is a tendency towards ‘all or nothing’ thinking. If the fall occurred during a particular activity- walking to the shops for example, the belief may form that every trip to the shops in the future will result in a fall and therefore this activity spells danger. The subconscious mind (the part of the mind which stores all memories, beliefs and habits) doesn’t recognise the difference between reality and fantasy. It often stores and reacts to outdated or irrational beliefs, but the subconscious ultimately wants to protect us. In the case of someone who has had a fall, excessive fear may stop the person from living a normal life. The subconscious is irrational and our responses to the outdated beliefs are normally automatic and unconscious. We simply make the decision that the walk to the shops is too dangerous and so we become dependent on others to do our shopping for us.
To challenge this ‘black or white’ thinking we should help the person put things into perspective by getting them to think about all the times that they haven’t fallen in the past. Also to challenge any depressive thoughts we can ask them to think and remind themselves of all the positive aspects of their life. For example their family, friends, hobbies, abilities etc.
How can hypnotherapy help?
If the anxiety is affecting life negatively, Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapy can assist the person to adopt a more positive, confident and rational attitude thus breaking the vicious cycle of the fear of falling. Hypnotherapy works directly with the subconscious mind and assists change in any negative beliefs held, those that limit the person from enjoying the quality of life. A good hypnotherapist will also teach some effective and simple relaxation techniques and coping strategies to deal with anxiety if it occurs in the future.
I feel strongly about helping older people to stay happy and healthy for as long as possible. I offer discounts for OAP's, please get in touch if you or anyone you know needs help.
How breathing properly can make you feel better
These days we are all in search of better health for ourselves and our families. To achieve this we tend to look towards improving our diets and exercise levels and other lifestyle changes, such as more relaxation time. Whilst these factors are extremely important and relevant, one of the simplest and most fundamental ways of improving both our mental and physical health is often overlooked! What is it?
It is the simple act of breathing - that is, breathing properly!
For thousands of years spiritual seekers, mystics and yogis have realized the spiritual, physical and mental benefits of the breath. Yet in modern day society many of us do not breath properly- that is we 'shallow breathe' (rather than breathing deeply into the belly we take smaller breaths, which reach the top of the chest only).
Taking proper deep breaths supplies us with all of the oxygen that our body needs to work at it's optimum rate. The out-breath helps the body rid itself of gaseous toxic waste ie carbon dioxide, which is a by-product of digestion. Research has shown that shallow breathing, instead of breathing properly, can contribute to 50-70% of medical complaints.
The physical benefits of proper breathing:
It provides sufficient oxygen for the efficient functioning of every body cell, enabling the body to function at its optimum level.
The oxygen also enables the body to metabolize food properly and thus absorb nutrients, including essential vitamins and minerals.
It allows the body to rid itself of toxins - particularly carbon dioxide.
It can increase energy levels, as oxygen fuels the body.
Shallow breathing can also affect our moods! The brain uses more energy and so requires more oxygen than any other organ of the body. A lack of oxygen can cause a loss of mental control, with symptoms such as concentration problems and mood swings.
The mental benefits of proper breathing:
Improved concentration and greater clarity of thought
Increased ability to deal with complex situations without stress
Better emotional control and equilibrium
A more positive outlook on life
Try the following exercise for just 10-15 minutes each day and you will be amazed at both the mental stillness and physical energy you will feel!
The Three-Part Breath
You can do this at anytime and anywhere - just make sure you are comfortable, whether you are sitting or standing.
Take a deep breath into the abdomen through the nose, continue the inhalation until the abdomen expands out like a balloon
Continue to inhale so that your breath now also fills the ribcage with air
Continue to inhale further to expand the chest all the way up to the upper chest
Hold the breath for 5 seconds
Next reverse the process by exhaling out first from the chest, then the ribcage, then the abdomen. Pull in the abdominal muscles at the end of the breath to totally rid the body of breath
Then reverse the process by breathing in again. Imagine that you torso is a glass and that the glass fills up from the bottom to the top and then empties from the top down to the bottom.
Further reading : "Free your breath, free your life" by Dennis Lewis
