- 3 min read
How can you work with me during the Corona Virus?
Choose an online session!
For the past two years I have done approximately half of my client’s sessions online and the other half face to face in-person.
Being able to offer online sessions means I can work with clients from further a field in the UK and also internationally and make a difference to more people. Working remotely also means that I can help clients who are less able to get out and about. Many people prefer to relax in the comfort of their own home, whilst experiencing a hypnotherapy session to change a particular issue or challenge in their life. With social distancing being vital at the moment to prevent the spread of the Corona Virus, being able to do online sessions is extremely useful.
How do online sessions work?
Hypnotherapy & Rapid Transformational Therapy remote sessions work in exactly the same way that in-person sessions work. I mainly use a system called Zoom as the connection tends to be really stable and reliable. Initially I will send my client a link to easily download Zoom onto their computer (this is free) and then another link to click at the time of our session. Once they have downloaded Zoom, the second link will easily connect my client and myself so that we can see and hear each other in what I like to call the ‘Zoom Room’. I have also done sessions on Skype & Facetime, which work well too.
The first part of any hypnotherapy or RTT session is the consultation and involves an explanation of the techniques and what will happen in the session, discussing what the client wants to focus on and answering any questions the client may have.
The second part of the session is the hypnosis or actual therapy, whereby the client relaxes with eyes closed and listens to my voice. This involves talking my client into a peaceful & pleasant state whereby the conscious part of the mind relaxes. In hypnosis we access the subconscious part of the mind to understand and help the client to let go of the root of their challenge or issue. People are totally aware at all times and can come out of this relaxed state at any time.
A hypnotic state of mind is really just a state of inner focus, a state of mind that we go into many times a day, without really being aware of it. I describe this relaxed state as similar to when you’re engrossed in a book or film or if you’re taking a very familiar route to work and you go into ‘autopilot’ and arrive without really noticing how you got there.
It’s a very safe, natural relaxed state where the subconscious is open to suggestion and positive changes that the client wants can take place.
After the hypnosis part of the session I gently bring my client out of hypnosis and back to a state of full awareness. We will then have a chat and I make sure that he/she feels good and calm before we conclude the session. The mind learns by repetition so an MP3 audio recording is included with every session or package of sessions, this is to be listened to daily for a few weeks and is an important part of the therapy and the positive results.
To have your hypnotherapy or RTT session online there are some considerations to make sure that the session goes smoothly;
You need a quiet room where you won’t be disturbed for the duration of the session.
Turn the phone off and let family members or housemates know that you are not to be disturbed until you come out of the room. If you’re alone at home at the time of your session it’s a good idea to pop a note on the front door to leave parcels etc with a neighbour.
You need to be sitting on something comfortable, where you can rest your head back and your neck is supported, but you’re not laying down totally. If you are sitting on your bed you need to be propped up with pillows/cushions.
You will need a good internet connection, enough battery on your phone or computer and ear/headphones if possible.
During our current crisis with the Corona Virus and social distancing, I am doing all of my sessions online for the foreseeable future. This means that I can still work with you to combat your current challenges or issues whilst still complying with government advice and keeping yourself, me and others safe and healthy.
Book your discovery call with me here and we can discuss further how I can help you.
- 4 min read
I used to be proud of my perfectionism, but now I realize that my tendency to want everything exactly ‘just so’ actually made me quite unhappy. It was a massive and quite recent light bulb moment for me to understand that as a perfectionist, what I was really hiding under the surface was insecurity; a feeling that I wasn’t good enough if everything I did wasn’t perfect.
“Insecurity's best cover is perfectionism. That's where it becomes an art form.”
- Beth Moore
This insecurity in disguise is the reason many books don’t get written and published, projects don’t get launched, business ideas don’t come to fruition and new skills or hobbies don’t get learnt and enjoyed. Perfectionism can really hold us back from taking action.
Being a perfectionist involves creating impossibly high standards for yourself and others and becoming disillusioned when, inevitably, these standards are not met. Striving for excellence is a good thing but perfection is not attainable, and this fact is hard for a perfectionist to accept. This means that a perfectionist is often unhappy and dissatisfied with life, noticing the things that are wrong rather than what is right!
I remember this in my previous business. Before becoming a hypnotherapist & Rapid Transformational Therapy Practitioner, I had a beauty & holistic salon for many years. I started this business from scratch and built it into a success, eventually employing fourteen people. Of course the standards of treatments and client care needed to be impeccable, but whilst striving to deliver the best I became a bit disillusioned as I felt that we didn’t always reach my unachievable expectations.
I had to check myself many, many times and train myself to look at the big picture and notice all the good things in my business rather than what I considered to be less than perfect. I remember the first beauty therapist I employed walked out on me on Christmas Eve! Her reason? I was just too difficult to please! A ‘nightmare’ I think were her actual words!! That was a big lesson for me and I learnt to ease off a bit and notice all of the good things my team were doing for the clients and their positive contributions to the business.
Since becoming a hypnotherapist and working with Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT), I have done a lot of deep work on my beliefs around not being enough. RTT really gets to the root of an issue, which allows deep healing to happen. This has impacted me and therefore, the clients I work with in such a profound and positive way.
Because I have personal experience of suffering from perfectionism, I can really help others to see it for what it is and break free of it for good. This allows them to move forward feeling liberated, confident and happy.
Do you recognize any of these common perfectionist traits in yourself?
Are you critical of yourself and others when impossibly high standards are not met?
You find yourself thinking the worst: ‘If I’m not perfect I am worthless.’
Is your self-esteem low and you feel you have to do everything perfectly in order to be loved or accepted?
You suffer from procrastination: ‘I should not make mistakes. If I can’t do this well, even at the beginning, I’m not going to attempt it.’
Perfectionism can cause:
Chronic procrastination by avoiding doing new things in fear of making mistakes.
Wasted time by repeatedly checking over unimportant items such as the wording of low-value email responses or documents.
Depression when things don’t match up to your expectations.
Overcritical behaviour of yourself and others.
Obsession over the small details and not seeing the big picture.
“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.”- Anna Quindlen
Ways to tackle perfectionism if it is holding you back or making you unhappy:
In the grand scheme of things in life, ask yourself if the small details in a particular case really matter.
Look at the big picture—the temptation of perfectionism is to focus on the minute details. Okay, so your partner has not done a totally perfect job of cleaning the bathroom but has done it to a fairly good standard and also washed the dishes and done some laundry too.
If you catch yourself noticing the bad aspects of something, immediately ask yourself, ‘What are the good things about this?’
Recognise that you and others are only human. Everyone makes mistakes and that doesn’t mean the world will end, or that if people are not perfect they are not loveable.
Ask yourself, ‘What is the worst thing that can happen if a task is not done perfectly?’ Then ask yourself, ‘If the worst thing did happen, would I handle it?’
Repeat your choice of the following affirmations daily to reprogram your mind to combat perfectionism.
My favourite affirmations to beat perfectionism:
• I forgive myself for my mistakes—I am human.
• My imperfections are part of me. I accept them as a necessary part of life.
• I don’t have to be perfect—just real.
• I am enough, just the way I am.
• I let go of the need to be perfect.
• I let go of perfectionism and I move on with an open heart.
• I truly love and accept myself just as I am.
• I truly love and accept others just as they are.
If you want to know more about RTT and the deep healing that can happen when you release your blocks to success go here.
Stress and anxiety seem to be reaching almost epidemic levels in our society. Here are a couple of my favourite tools to help deal with overwhelm, stress &/or anxiety. Both can be done in a matter of minutes and are simple and effective.
Reduce Anxiety with the Staircase to Relaxation Technique
This is a visualization and can alter the mindset by picturing or imagining a beautiful, relaxing, peaceful scene. Don’t worry if you feel you’re not a ‘visual’ person and you don’t get a clear picture in your mind (many of us don’t). This exercise will work in the same way, if you just get a sense or feeling that you are walking down the steps and then are in your special place.
How to do it;
Make yourself comfortable in a place you won’t be disturbed for a few minutes and close your eyes. As you breathe in and out, spend a few moments focusing on your belly rising and falling as the breath enters and leaves, without changing or forcing the breath in any way.
Now imagine that you are standing at the top of a flight of ten steps leading down to a special place of relaxation. This could be somewhere you’ve been before or just somewhere you want to imagine, but somewhere where you feel peaceful, happy and relaxed. Perhaps it’s a beautiful beach, a scene in nature, a cosy room, or it could be somewhere you imagine would be the most relaxing place you could possibly be in.
As your breathing slows down naturally, just imagine on each outbreath taking a step down your staircase, holding onto a rail if you feel you need to. As you slowly descend, count down from 10 to 1 on each outbreath, looking forward to the scene that awaits you at the bottom. With the final step imagine stepping into your relaxing place.
Use all of your senses to create as vivid a place as possible. See the colours, shapes and quality of light. Hear any sounds that add to your sense of relaxation. Notice any smells or tastes that remind you of calm. Notice how your body feels in the place, whether it is warm or cool, notice sensations like sand under your feet on the beach or a warm, soft blanket in your cosy room.
Imagine sitting down in this place for a while. As you notice the different aspects of the scene, notice the relaxation spreading through your body, perhaps from your feet to your head. Notice how your mind has also quietened.
When you are ready, you can imagine leaving your scene, drifting back up the stairs, counting back from 1 to 10 and walking back into the room. Open your eyes and have a stretch. Notice how you feel. Know that you can return to your peaceful scene whenever you need to, it’s there waiting for you in your mind.
Relieve Anxiety or Fear with the Backward Spin Tool
Anxiety and fear can be felt as a physical feeling in the body. Normally it’s a feeling of movement and usually it’s moving too fast. Often it can be a spinning feeling that keeps repeating within the body. This tool is useful for helping you to move out of a fearful or anxious state of mind and into a more positive and helpful state.
How to do it;
Locate where you feel the anxiety moving in your body and notice which way the feeling ‘spins’. You can use your hands to model the direction of the spin.
Next imagine that you can move the spin outside of your body. Imagine it still spinning in the same direction but it is now outside of you.
Once it is outside of you imagine reversing the spin in the opposite direction (and the movement of your hands if you’re using them).
Now imagine bringing this spin back into your body, rotating in the opposite direction. Notice how it feels different. Imagine adding some laughter to the spin (this starts to release ‘feel-good’ hormones in the body and changes the feeling even more). Notice how you feel calmer.
These techniques are so simple but people report immediate relief and a mind shift when using them. They are taken from a couple of great books I use and recommend;
49 Ways to Think Yourself Well by Jan Alcoe & Emily Gajewski.
The Anti-Anxiety Toolkit by Melissa Tiers.
