HOW TO KNOW IF YOU'VE FOUND 'THE ONE'? 7 ESSENTIAL QUALITIES TO LOOK FOR IN YOUR LIFE PARTNER!
How Do you Know if you've Found a 'Keeper'?
When it comes to finding a great relationship, we often think about stuff like aligned interests, having similar values, and feeling that spark of physical attraction.
But when we’re wanting a relationship to last, there’s definitely more to it! There are certain qualities that really make a relationship tick, like being kind, talking openly, and respecting each other's boundaries.
These qualities aren't just nice extras – they're the things that build a solid connection and make love last.
In my opinion there are at least seven key personal qualities that show you've found someone pretty special to share your life with.
In this blog I’ll talk about each one and why it’s important to making your relationship healthy and happy.
In the second section ⬇️ I’ve also given some real-life examples of what these qualities would look like in a partner so that you can tell if he really possesses them or not!
The 7 Essential Qualities to Look for in Your Life Partner
✅ Kindness: Kindness is crucial because it forms the basis of how you and your partner treat each other and those around you. It's about being considerate, empathetic, and compassionate. In a relationship, kindness shows up in small gestures, like thoughtful actions and words, being supportive during tough times, and genuinely caring for each other's well-being.
✅ Communication: Open communication is essential for understanding each other's thoughts, feelings, and needs. So it involves your partner not only expressing himself but also actively listening to you without judgment. Healthy communication will create more trust, intimacy, and connection in the relationship, allowing both partners to feel heard, valued, and understood.
✅ Respect for Boundaries: Respecting boundaries is about honoring each other's individuality, autonomy, and personal space. It means acknowledging and accepting differences in opinions, preferences, and desires without trying to change or control each other. When your partner respects you in this way it will give you a sense of safety and security in the relationship. This is important for both of you to feel respected and valued for who you are.
✅ Integrity: Integrity is the foundation of trust in a relationship. It's about being honest, reliable, and consistent in your words and actions. When someone lives true to their word and follows through on their commitments, it builds confidence and reliability in the relationship. Integrity creates a sense of dependability and stability, allowing both partners to feel secure and confident in each other.
✅ Loving: Understanding each other's love languages and expressing love in ways that resonate with your partner is vital for building intimacy and connection. I’ve written a blog on the Love Languages so have a read here if you want to learn more! Whether it's through physical affection, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, or gifts, expressing love in ways that are meaningful to your partner strengthens the bond between you. Loving gestures create warmth, closeness, and emotional connection in the relationship. This will give a sense of appreciation and affection for each other.
✅ Friendship: Friendship is important to a strong and lasting relationship. It's about enjoying each other's company, sharing laughs, and being supportive and encouraging towards one another. Being friends with your partner means having each other's backs, enjoying shared interests and activities, and being there for each other through thick and thin. Friendship brings joy, companionship, and camaraderie to the relationship, making it feel like a partnership built on mutual respect and admiration.
✅ Loyalty: Loyalty is about being committed and faithful to each other, especially during challenging times. It's about standing by your partner's side, remaining loyal and supportive, and prioritizing the relationship above all else. Loyalty creates a sense of security and trust, knowing that you can rely on each other through good times and bad. It strengthens the bond between you and deepens your connection, making the relationship feel solid and enduring.
How Do I Know if my Partner is Right?
Here are some real-life examples to help you tell if a partner really has these qualities or not!
💕 Kindness:
✅ Example of Kindness: Your partner notices that you've had a long day at work, so they surprise you with a homemade dinner and run you a relaxing bath to help you unwind without you even having to ask. This thoughtful gesture shows their empathy and consideration for your well-being.
👎🏼 Example of Unkindness: You express your excitement about starting a new hobby, but instead of supporting you, your partner belittles your interest, calling it a waste of time and money. This lack of support and criticism undermines your confidence and hurts your feelings.
💕 Communication:
✅ Example of Healthy Communication: During a disagreement, both you and your partner actively listen to each other's perspectives without interrupting. You express your feelings calmly and honestly, and your partner responds with empathy and understanding, leading to you both feeling heard and a being able to agree on some sort of constructive resolution together.
👎🏼 Example of Lack of Communication: Your partner shuts down and refuses to discuss important matters that are affecting the relationship, leaving you feeling frustrated and ignored. This avoidance of communication prevents issues from being resolved and creates tension and resentment between you. Resentment is the silent killer of many relationships!
💕 Respect for Boundaries:
✅ Example of Respecting Boundaries: You communicate to your partner that you need some alone time to recharge, and they respect your request without taking it personally. They give you the space you need without pressuring you to see them until you feel ready.
👎🏼 Example of Disregarding Boundaries: Despite your clear boundary of not wanting to share personal details about your past relationships, your partner repeatedly probes and insists on knowing every detail, disregarding your comfort and privacy. These sorts of questions are a total breach of your chosen privacy boundaries and if your partner continues in this way it kills trust and creates tension in the relationship.
💕 Integrity:
✅ Example of Integrity: Your partner promises to attend your important family event, and even though they encounter unexpected work deadlines, they make every effort to rearrange their schedule and fulfill their commitment and be there for you. This demonstrates their reliability and trustworthiness.
👎🏼 Example of Lack of Integrity: Your partner repeatedly makes promises they never keep, such as saying they'll help with household chores but consistently failing to follow through. This pattern of unreliability undermines trust and causes frustration and disappointment.
💕 Loving:
✅ Example of Expressing Love: Knowing that physical touch is your primary love language, your partner surprises you with a warm hug and a kiss on the forehead after a long day, instantly making you feel cherished and loved.
👎🏼 Example of Lack of Love Expression: Despite knowing that receiving compliments is important to you, your partner rarely offers words of affirmation and rarely expresses appreciation for your efforts. This lack of love language compatibility can lead to feelings of insecurity and emotional distance. I've written a blog on the 5 love languages here if you want to know more!
💕 Friendship:
✅ Example of Friendship: Your partner is not only your romantic partner but also your best friend. They make you laugh with their silly jokes, provide a listening ear when you need to vent, and support you in pursuing your passions.
👎🏼 Example of Lack of Friendship: Your partner prioritizes their own interests and social circle over spending quality time with you or supporting your goals and aspirations. This lack of friendship and support can make you feel disconnected and lonely in the relationship.
💕 Loyalty:
✅ Example of Loyalty: Despite facing external pressures and temptations, your partner remains faithful and committed to you, choosing to prioritize the relationship and your emotional well-being above all else.
👎🏼 Example of Lack of Loyalty: Your partner repeatedly flirts with others and keeps secrets from you, betraying your trust and demonstrating a lack of commitment to the relationship. This betrayal of loyalty can cause deep emotional pain and destroy any sense of trust in the relationship.
POV! In Love and Partnership, Finding Someone Who's Got These Qualities is Like Finding a Treasure 🌻
Things like being kind, communicating well, and being loyal are often the building blocks of a strong relationship.
When you've got a partner who's all about these things, I would say they’re a keeper! They're not just someone who fits into your life, they make it better in many ways.
So, please cherish these qualities in your partner, if he shows you that he has them. They will make your love grow stronger and that leads to a happier you, both of you!
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