THE TRUTH ABOUT CONFIDENCE!

The Truth About Confidence!

Have you ever held back from doing something because you didn’t feel confident enough? Maybe you wanted to start a new hobby, speak up in a meeting, or go on a date, but you hesitated, waiting for confidence to show up first.

Here’s the truth: confidence doesn’t come before action—it comes after.

In The Confidence Gap, Dr. Russ Harris explains that many people make the mistake of waiting to feel confident before taking action. But that’s the wrong way around. Confidence is built by doing, not by waiting. The more you take action, the more natural confidence becomes—until one day, you don’t even think about it at all.

Confidence is an Emotion, Not a Fixed Trait

Many people believe confidence is something you either have or don’t. But confidence is simply an emotion—and like any emotion, you can learn to tap into it when you need it most.

Think about moments when you naturally feel confident—maybe when cooking a familiar meal, driving a car, or chatting with close friends. In those moments, confidence isn’t something you "have"—it’s simply a state you’re in. It’s a state of ease and calm, where you’re in the flow of an action and you have no doubts about your ability to do whatever you’re doing.

So as I’ve mentioned that natural ease of doing something well comes after you’ve practiced it a few times. But you need to take action before you feel totally ready and confident in order to build the confidence you want. The gap that Russ Harris talks about in his book is the time in between doing something unfamiliar (stepping out of your comfort zone and being willing to do something before you feel totally ready) and feeling really proficient doing it.

In this blog I want to give you some help with actually taking this leap, because this is the only way to increase your confidence in something you want to do.

Because confidence is an emotion that you can ‘call up’ when you need it you can intentionally create some confidence when stepping into unfamiliar territory. This will help you keep taking action until you achieve mastery of something and know you can do it well.

Here are three simple ways you can boost confidence:

1. Visualize Yourself Succeeding

Your brain responds to mental images almost as powerfully as real-life experiences. Before facing a challenge, close your eyes and imagine yourself succeeding. See yourself walking into that room, giving the presentation, or having the conversation with ease. Feel the confidence in your body. Athletes use this technique to perform better—so why not apply it to your life?

2. Transfer Confidence from One Area of Life to Another

Think of something you feel naturally confident doing. Maybe you’re great at giving advice to friends, dancing, or organizing things. Now imagine bringing that same energy into the area where you need more confidence. If you can feel confident in one area, you can feel confident in another. It’s just about shifting the emotion.

3. Accept That No One Feels 100% Ready

Perfection is a myth. No one starts out as an expert. Every confident person you admire once felt unsure and awkward. The only difference? They took action despite it. Growth only happens when you step outside your comfort zone.

As John A. Shedd said: "A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for."

The next time you catch yourself thinking, I’ll do it when I feel ready, flip the script. Take the first step now, and confidence will follow.

As Mark Twain wisely put it:"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear—not absence of fear."

Confidence isn’t something you wait for. It’s something you create. And the more you practice tapping into it, the more natural it becomes.

And then the more you practice the thing you’re scared of, the more the fear eases and natural confidence take it’s place.

I want to challenge you! Think of one thing you can take action on today—even before you feel ready? Dip your toe out of your comfort zone in this area of your life and take one small action today. I promise you it won't be as scary as you might think it will be. And the only way to know this and build your confidence muscle it to like Nike says.... just do it!