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Who are you attracted to? And what’s behind that?

Do you have a type? Are you often attracted to a certain sort of look or personality in a prospective partner? Can you identify any connections between previous relationships and how you felt in them?

This is such an interesting subject that when we become aware of, we can make decisions about who we want to be with in a loving relationship! And it may well be someone very different to your 'normal type'.

In my Healthy Relationship Formula we go into past patterns and evaluate what has been good that we want to keep and what we definitely want to leave behind; certain types of relationships and situations for example. Having this conscious awareness of any patterns allows us to make different choices for our future love life.

Often we are not fully conscious of our main limiting beliefs to do with relationships. We may have created certain beliefs and made decisions as a child, both from our own experience and from observing the important relationships around us growing up.

Before we are really aware of these beliefs under the surface they are able to drive us and may affect the type of people we are drawn to. We are 'unconsciously' creating our experience.

What does unconsciously creating our experience mean?

We are always creating our circumstances and we tend to be driven by our thoughts, feelings and beliefs. If we hold limiting beliefs from our past and childhood wounds, it means that without us being fully aware of it the child that still lives within us is driving us to create our reality today. If deep down, we hold limiting beliefs of not being enough or not being loveable we will often choose situations and people that prove these beliefs right.

The mind loves what is familiar, it is wired to notice and guide us to the familiar pathway. This is because it’s easier and the mind is basically wired to keep us safe. Anything familiar is deemed as safer for us (even if it’s something we claim we don’t want). Because we have already experienced it, it’s already a ‘program’ in the mind. Anything unfamiliar requires more effort by the mind to suss it out for potential ‘danger’.

So how does this affect who we are attracted to?

There are some theories that we pick our love interests and partners because they remind us of how we felt as a child.

There’s that familiarity again, but the theory goes that because it's human nature to love and be loved, we’re always repeating similar experiences to our childhood ones.

According to this theory we are drawn to prospective partners who have similar traits to our parents (Mum & Dad) or other caregivers, or who remind us of how we felt as a child. We are driven with the notion of getting our unmet childhood needs satisfied.

So it’s like we’re constantly replaying the movie of our earlier years in order to create a happier ending, where all of our unmet needs for unconditional love and care are fulfilled. This can be a life-long search until we realise that it’s not up to our significant other to meet our childhood needs for love!

That's our job!! As children we did need that love and care to survive, but as adults what we need is us to love us!!

Once we love ourselves we can invite someone else in who also loves themself. Were choosing healthy love, not expecting someone else to fill the void that was left for us as children. The only person that can do that is us!

By gaining this awareness, we have more consciousness on why we are drawn to certain people. Fascinating stuff!

The aim of the game is to be consciously creating. But what does this mean?

To be consciously creating our circumstances means to be aware of our past unconscious decisions and the results or experiences that those decisions led us to. The next step is to decide we want something different and to begin to ‘create’ with intention, to be conscious of what we want and to make decisions that align with this new vision. When you become super-clear on what you don't want you also gain such clarity on what else is possible for you! And that's exciting!

What about you?

Are you a single woman who wants to be in a relationship, but you know you sometimes get in your own way of being happy in love? If so, the Healthy Relationship Formula will support you to work on releasing the past (including any limiting beliefs that have been holding you back) and healing your relationship with you first.

When you truly remove these blocks to love, it's only a matter of time before you find that lovely partner you've been waiting for!

To find out more about the program and apply click here!


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