Breakups Are Painful!
Breakups can be tough. They can leave us feeling raw, vulnerable and sometimes broken. Healing from a relationship ending, is a process and takes time. It's crucial to not skip the grieving and healing that comes after a relationship ends, because if you do, unprocessed hurt and emotions will resurface later. Whereas, if you deal with them in the moment they will be processed and release, leaving you free to move on, in time.
Because it can be an emotional rollercoaster when you're getting over someone, it can be hard to know when it's okay to start dating again. While there's no strict rule, figuring out when you're ready involves understanding your feelings and considering a few important things. Let's break it down to some guidelines to help us know when we really are ready to embark on the dating journey again!
Bear These Points In Mind To Make Sure You're Ready:
1. Give Yourself Time to Feel Better:
Breakups are like emotional storms. Before thinking about a new relationship, it's important to take time to feel better. Just like fixing a broken ship, give yourself the space to heal and get back on your feet.
2. Get to Know Yourself:
Understanding your feelings and what you want is like having a reliable guide. Take some time to think about what worked and what didn't in your last relationship. Knowing yourself better is not just good for you but also helps you make better choices in the future.
3. Make Sure You're Ready:
Just like a ship needs to be ready for a journey, you need to be ready for a new relationship. Ask yourself if you're looking for companionship for the right reasons or just to fill a gap. Make sure you're in a good place mentally and emotionally before getting into something new.
4. Keep it Real:
Every relationship is different, and having realistic expectations is like planning your route on a map. No relationship is perfect, so be clear about what you want and what you can give. Realistic expectations prevent disappointment and help you approach new connections with an open mind.
5. Talk About It:
Clear and honest communication is like the wind that moves a ship forward. Before starting a new relationship, talk openly about your intentions, expectations, and any leftover feelings from your past. This sets the stage for a healthy connection built on trust and understanding.
Use Your Own Intuition and Judgement to Decide When The Time Is Right!
Deciding when to date after a breakup is personal and depends on your own unique journey. Take your time to understand your feelings and let yourself heal. When you're ready to start again, do it with a clear mind, realistic expectations, and a willingness to enjoy the new adventure. If you have taken the time to process and deal with your emotions and grief following a relationship ending, you'll be in the best head-space (and heart space) to try again!
P.S. If you do feel ready to date again you may really like my NEW program: 💕Solo to Soulmate: Finding Love Offline: A fun & empowering path to organically attract your partner without dating apps.💕
❤️ 🦋 In this course you’ll go from feeling discouraged, stuck and like love is passing you by to feeling empowered, inspired and confident that you can enjoy the freedom of an organic path to meet your soulmate, without the time-consuming frustration of dating apps.
We’re starting in March and places are limited. The first 10 people to enrol will get a special rate in return for their feedback as founding members! If you want to join us on this life-changing 4 week course please get in touch by writing "First 10" in the message box here!
The Solo to Soulmate Program will be included in my upcoming Healthy Relationship Formula 8 week program beginning on the 16th of April!! Go here to read more about this and to apply!
Leaving Takes Courage!
Breaking free from a toxic relationship takes courage. The journey to healing may seem daunting, but it's an opportunity for self-discovery and growth. In this blog, we'll explore the path to healing and share insights on how to avoid repeating patterns that led to the toxic relationship in the first place.
How to Heal
☀️ Reflect and Learn:
Before leaping into new adventures, take the time to reflect on the past relationship. What were the red flags? What did you learn about yourself during this time? Reflecting on these aspects allows you to gain valuable insights into your own needs, boundaries, and desires. Use this knowledge as a foundation for the healing process. I recommend writing stuff down. Journaling is a great way to gain self-awareness and to connect with your feelings and thoughts.
☀️ Prioritize Self-Care:
Self-care isn't a luxury; it's a necessity. Embrace activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul. Whether it's indulging in a spa day, practicing mindfulness, or engaging in hobbies you love, prioritize self-care. This not only helps in healing but also reinforces the importance of self-love.
☀️ Build a Support System:
Surround yourself with a strong support system of friends and family. Share your feelings and experiences with those you trust. Establishing connections with people who uplift and understand you is crucial for emotional well-being. Remember, you don't have to go through this journey alone.
☀️ Set Boundaries:
One lesson from toxic relationships is the importance of setting and maintaining boundaries. Clearly define what is acceptable and what is not in your interactions with others. Learning to say no and establishing healthy boundaries safeguards your emotional and mental well-being. Remember that we show others how to treat us by the way we treat ourselves!
☀️ Rediscover Passion and Purpose:
Take this time as an opportunity to rediscover your passions and purpose. What makes you feel alive and fulfilled? Whether it's a career change, pursuing a hobby, or embarking on a new adventure, use this phase to reconnect with your authentic self and build a life that aligns with your aspirations.
☀️ Professional Support:
Consider seeking professional support, such as therapy or counseling, to navigate the complexities of healing. A therapist can provide valuable insights, coping strategies, and a safe space to process emotions. Investing in your mental health is an essential step towards building a stronger, more resilient you.
☀️ Embrace Positive Affirmations:
Shift your mindset by incorporating positive affirmations into your daily routine. Affirmations help reshape your thoughts and beliefs, fostering a more positive outlook on life. Words are powerful! Repeat statements that empower and inspire you, reinforcing your worth and resilience. I like: “I am enough & completely loveable just as I am” and “Today I’m showing myself kindness, love and respect.” When you are showing yourself compassion, love and care, other people will also treat you better too.
☀️ Mindful Dating:
When you're ready to explore new relationships, approach dating with mindfulness. Be aware of your needs and communicate them openly. Look for partners who respect your boundaries and share similar values. Mindful dating ensures a healthier and more fulfilling connection. Take your time getting to know new people.
You Can Heal!
Healing from a toxic relationship is a transformative journey and it's an opportunity to rediscover your strength and resilience. By reflecting, prioritizing self-care, building a support system, setting boundaries, rediscovering passion, seeking professional support, embracing positive affirmations, and practicing mindful dating, you pave the way for a brighter and more fulfilling future.
Remember, healing is a process, and each step forward is a victory on the path to a healthier and happier you.
P.S. When you're ready to date again, you may really like my NEW program: 💕Solo to Soulmate: Finding Love Offline: A fun & empowering path to organically attract your partner without dating apps.💕
❤️ 🦋 In this course you’ll go from feeling discouraged, stuck and like love is passing you by to feeling empowered, inspired and confident that you can enjoy the freedom of an organic path to meet your soulmate, without the time-consuming frustration of dating apps.
You can also choose to include a one to one session of Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) as part of the program. RTT will help you address and heal the root cause of any problems and past negative patterns you may have experienced in your past relationships!
We’re starting soon and places are limited. The first 10 people to enrol will get a special rate in return for their feedback as founding members! If you want to join us on this life-changing 4 week course please get in touch by writing "First 10" in the message box here!
The Solo to Soulmate Program will also be included in my upcoming Healthy Relationship Formula 8 week program beginning on the 16th of April!! Go here to read more about this and to apply!
Is it Still Possible to Meet Your Soulmate IRL Without Dating Apps?
I say absolutely YES!! It happened for me and I've seen it happen for others too. I'm not totally against dating apps and some people will prefer them as a method for finding love. BUT if you want to try another way read on!!
Being Open to Finding Love, Whilst Getting on With Life!
Have you heard people say: "I found my partner when I wasn't really looking."? Often the most meaningful connections happen when you least expect them. The universe has a mysterious way of bringing two souls together, and sometimes, it's not about actively searching but just getting out there and living your best life and trusting that love will find you when you're enjoying what you're doing!
This is sometimes easier said than done and so I wanted to write this blog to instil optimism and confidence in you, if you're fed up of looking and waiting for your mate to come along. Or you're totally sick of dating apps and want to give real life opportunities to meet someone a chance.
In this blog, I want to talk about examples of places where you might meet your partner IRL and also discuss the mindset of not actively looking, because, as the saying goes, love has a way of finding you when you're busy living your life.
I will also tell you my story of how I met my partner IRL (and after years of internet dating, some successful but not lasting and some dismal experiences too.) I'll save these stories for another time!
Here Are Some Ideas Of Where & How You Might Meet Your Future Partner!
✅ Embrace Hobbies and Passions: One of the best ways to meet like-minded people is by engaging in activities you genuinely enjoy. Whether it's joining a pickle ball club, a new gym or drama club, attending a painting, writing or photography class or participating in a local hiking group, you increase your chances of meeting someone who shares your interests. By focusing on your passions, you naturally attract people who appreciate the same things and also meet people you probably wouldn't have come across in your every day life.
✅ Expand Your Social Circle: Attend social events, gatherings, networking events, meet-ups and parties even if they aren't directly related to finding a partner. Often, when you're surrounded by friends and acquaintances, you become more open to new connections. Your friends might introduce you to someone interesting, or you might strike up a conversation with a stranger who ends up becoming a significant part of your life. Remember that the events that you really don't feel like attending are often the ones that you're really glad you made the effort to go to!
✅ Volunteer and Give Back: Volunteering not only allows you to contribute to a cause you believe in, but it also puts you in contact with people who share your values and commitment to making a difference. The shared experience of giving back can create a strong bond, and you might find that special someone while working towards a common goal.
✅ Travel and Explore: Traveling opens up a world of possibilities, not just in terms of discovering new places but also meeting new people. Whether you're exploring a foreign city or hiking through the mountains, the unexpected connections you make during your travels can turn into lifelong relationships. You could go on your own or with a friend. If there's no one free to go with you and you don't want to go on your own, there are some great companies who take group tours. I did several amazing trips with Intrepid Travel when I was single, visiting India, South America and Vietnam. Don't let being single stop you from seeing the world, if you're passionate about travel, like I am!
✅ Focus on Personal Growth: Instead of actively searching for a partner, invest time in personal growth. Pursue your career goals, learn new skills, and become the best version of yourself. When you're focused on your own development, you radiate confidence and positivity, making you more attractive to potential partners who are drawn to your ambition and self-assuredness. You are also engaged in your own self-growth journey. And if you're a bit of a junkie in the self-development world (like me:)) you will be in a great energy to meet someone, because you'll be loving what you're doing and learning.
✅ Be Open to New Experiences: The key to meeting your soulmate unexpectedly is being open to new experiences. Attend events you wouldn't normally consider, say "yes" to invitations, and step outside your comfort zone. Love often finds us when we're least expecting it, in the most unlikely places.
✅ Try Speed Dating Or Other Single's Events: Speed dating and other singles events are fun if you approach them with a view to meeting and chatting to new people that you wouldn't normally meet, having a laugh and increasing your chances of meeting someone you would like to get to now better. And the best thing is that all of the attendees are single and looking for the same thing that you are. If a speed dating event is well-attended many of the companies state that you'll get to meet and chat (albeit for 4-5 minutes) to 15-20 single people in that one evening. Where else are you able to meet so many people that could potentially be your future partner?
If you try this, don't just go to one event and give up if it's not successful. There are many events and each one will be different.
How I Met My Soulmate IRL
After years of dating and searching for the ‘one’, I met my partner at a seminar about writing and publishing a book (which was something that we were both wanting to do). I wasn’t expecting to meet anyone in the romantic sense at this event and I definitely wasn’t looking at that time!
We stayed in touch as friends and a couple of months later went on our first date. Fast forward nine years and we're still together and very happy. I don't think I would've met him if I hadn't attended the seminar. For me there wasn't an initial 'physical spark', I treated him as a friend and the attraction grew as we got to know each other more. It can happen for you too! By trying some of the ideas above; embracing your passions, expanding your social circle, volunteering, traveling, focusing on personal growth, and being open to new experiences, you will be creating the perfect conditions for you to meet more people (whilst not even touching a dating app) and for serendipity to work its magic!
Remember, love has a way of finding you when you're busy living a life filled with purpose and spending time doing the things you love to do. So, let go of the search, enjoy the journey, and trust that your soulmate will come into your life when the time is right.
P.S. If you are single and would like to meet someone, you may really like my NEW program: 💕Solo to Soulmate: Finding Love Offline: A fun & empowering path to organically attract your partner without dating apps.💕
❤️ 🦋 In this course you’ll go from feeling discouraged, stuck and like love is passing you by to feeling empowered, inspired and confident that you can enjoy the freedom of an organic path to meet your soulmate, without the time-consuming frustration of dating apps.
We’re starting soon and places are limited. The first 10 people to enrol will get a special rate in return for their feedback as founding members! If you want to join us on this life-changing 4 week course please get in touch by writing "First 10" in the message box here!
The Solo to Soulmate Program will also be included in my upcoming Healthy Relationship Formula 8 week program beginning on the 16th of April!! Go here to read more about this and to apply!
